News but first this.......

I have some stuff to get off my chest but got distracted by the moth M rescued from the road this morning....it's big. I think it might be a kind of Anisota Stigma - Orange Oakworm Moth - please correct me if I'm wrong - I'd love to know what moth this is. The aforementioned is the closest that I can find to it in books and online. It is very beautiful

1) I am about to take a prolonged blog break (this may change if my mood improves) but it's unlikely. I need to spend time getting my head together - major time. Some cruel things have happened to me recently of which I will not speak - cos it's unbelievable - but it's shaken me to the core and damaged my already very fragile self confidence. I have to heal myself.

2) Not only is this a blog break but a Knittyboard break too. Thank you to all the wonderful people who have been so kind to me recently. Messages and shows of support have meant the world to me. Just goes to show that there are still truly good people left in the world. Also thank you to the bloggers who have left kind and supportive comments - again much appreciated.

I am taking a Knitty break - because - there's been some weird shit on there and also on the Knittyhead forum at Raverly - it's been squashed/resolved but it shook my faith in the forum - what the fuck would the board be like if people didn't follow the 'play nice' rule? Saw a little taste and didn't like it. I need to think this through.

I also just had a crap SP round - again! The person I sent to was great - the person who sent (?) to me wasn't - all I have to show for taking part is a few, brief emails - I don't even know who she is. I believe that she sent a parcel and it's loss is in no way her fault - but a card, an e-card, chatty friendly emails, posts on the thread - would have been nice too. Whoever you are SP - please think carefully before you SP again - cos it's a mutual, give & take sharing thing - whether you are quiet and shy or not! I now formally abandon any thoughts of ever SP-ing again I've been shafted too many times and and am fed up with the whole thing (I have also had some blinding rounds - thanks Yorkie, Katie-Lee & others) but the last couple - abysmal.
**********Update**********************

I feel I must post this addition. Early this morning I received a replacement parcel from the lady who is my spinning sp. It was full of lovely fibre, wrapped in a rainbow of tissue paper. The colours were perfect for me and show thought as does the choice of fibre type. I thank her for sending a 2nd parcel - it is appreciated.

I also need to add - cos I missed it out yesterday - that she has been ill during the round.

3) I can't remember being this sad for a long time........my Pa would have been 70 tomorrow *sigh* I miss him.

4) I'll leave the blog/knitty id up and running for now.

5) Those I count as friends (you know who you are) feel free to email if you want perilainchbury at hotmail dot com.

So long.

Flicker Socks

Finally finito! Pattern by Cookie of Monkey, Pomatomus and other excellent sock fame. Her wonderful patterns including this one came be found/purchased here
http://www.cookiea.com/index.php Needles - 2.5mm ebony dpns, yarn Opal Uni - in a jade/turquoisey type shade - colour no/name escapes me.

Sock one I whizzed through and the pattern is great, easy to follow and a interesting knit - through no fault of the pattern though I did get 2nd sock syndrome. I cast on for number two straight away and knit the cuff/leg but hit a brick wall for the heel & gusset etc. I knitted two rows yesterday - more crappy family stuff intervened - so the bulk of gusset, foot & toe were completed this afternoon.

I have two more pairs of socks on the needles and will endeavour to finish them before casting on for Cookie's Mona pattern which I purchased today.......am I a Cookie-Ho?

Spinning & Startitus

Alpaca and silk all spun and done. The colours match M's moon globe perfectly.
A close up. It has amazing sheen and is so very soft - I could roll around nekkid in it!
Ok - I own up - I have had the most terrible startitus - maybe it's a sign of my unquiet mind that I can't settle to anything, especially exsisting projects - though I have worked on the 2nd Flicker sock and M's vanilla socks as well this week. So we have, a spiral pattern sock in the lovely yarn Kathrow's sent me, a flaming skull bag intended for felting and a stole worked in Peri's Parasol lace.....how could I not knit something in this pattern?
I am more into my spinning at the moment than my knitting and have faithfully finished one load of fluff before starting another - so proves I can be constant *rolls eyes* . As soon as the alpaca and silk was plied I selected my next victim. Bright and I mean *puts on sunnies* BRIGHT scarlet merino and silk mix.....it almost glows.

The rest of the week has been quiet - by choice. M has been caught up in bike maintenance (prep prior to Centerparcs in Oct), J as been almost permanently in the pool, with the odd break for Beano/book reading and a mega, huge water balloon war in the garden (I'm still finding bits of balloon all over the place). It's been good to be still after the last few weeks. M is back on call so I foresee a quiet weekend. Mind you we're out tonight and J has a promised cousin sleepover on the horizon.

I also booked tickets for Shoreham Airshow in September - the boys love it and I get to stay home and knit :-D and I booked tickets for M and I to go and see Newton Faulkner in November, we last saw at Joogleberry's in February - before he really took off - he is amazing live - so am looking forward to that.

Now I am off to clean and iron......whoooooo.......can a women take this much excitement in one day?

Giving the finger!

You Are a Ring Finger

You are romantic, expressive, and hopeful. You see the best in everything. You are very artistic, and you see the world as your canvas. You are also drawn to the written word. Inventive and unique, you are often away in your own inner world. You get along well with: The Pinky Stay away from: The Index Finger

http://www.blogthings.com/whatfingerareyouquiz/">What Finger Are You?

Thanks to Sue and Glittr for this idea ;-D

A little ray of Suemoon-shine!

Little did Sue over at http://knittiotherapy.typepad.com/ know that her kindness would ease an awful morning. The little sheepie pencil/needle case was filled with a mutual favourite, blast from the past..............Caramac Bars - yummy! Thank you Sue <3

I have had little time to think, muse over and digest my MIL's death. Today it hit me, mayhap I've been in shock. It's taken almost 3 weeks, but I'm glad it finally came out and I feel better for a prolonged blub. Sue's gift arrived in the middle of it, gourd knows what postie though when I opened the door, but it was just the catalyst needed, perfect timing.....maybe Sue is psychic ;-)

Today is M's last day off before returning to work. Yesterday he and J went to see the Transformers movie, which, I am informed has amazing special effects. Today we are planning a tea time beach picnic picking up fish-n-chips on route to eat on the pebbles. Sounds good!

Had to post this, taken Sunday night, on our bed - I have entitled this picture 'Oh inscrutable cat.' It was so hot in our bedroom, I had just rescued this old pink cotton sheet to throw over us as it was way too hot for quilts or duvets. It been on the bed no more than 10 seconds before his haughty blackness came and lounged on it with this smug look. Pink sheet coated in black, velvety Conker fluff......perfect!

Kitty cuteness overload

Now this is how to spend a hot Sunday............with a long relaxed snooze!

J however has other ideas *sigh* 10-1 my knitting/iPod gets splashed.

Oooooo stuff

Finally, I finished something! I know they're just plain ole vanilla sockies.....but these are not just any plain ole vanilla sockies.....these are plain ole vanilla sockies knitted in Posh Yarn's Emily sock yarn (colour Mayday) 80% lambswool, 10% cashmere, 10% angora and they are so soft and cushiony (is that a word? -If it isn't, it should be cos it's a perfect description of how these socks feel to the feet). The colours remind me of a sunset. I have a enough left to make matching mittens :-D which are on the needles.
Spinning! Alpaca and silk from Scottish Fibres. My, oh my, this fluff is wonder fluff (apart from the shedding) it spins so easily, smoothly and evenly. It has an amazing lustre and the silver mixed with white silk is so very pretty but subtle. I would also like to take this opportunity to say 'Thank You' to Doreen from Scottish Fibres because she sent me a replacement parcel for one that had got lost in the chaos of the UK postal system - it reached me in two days - and she was so gracious about the whole thing. They give excellent, fast, efficient service! Now all I need is my MIA spinning secret pal parcel to arrive......my poor Sekrit pal has been poorly and now her parcel she sent weeks ago has gone AWOL - postal service sucks right now.

Finally, do you ever get a refrain of a song or just it's lyrics stuck in your head? I do and for the last 24 hours my mind has been singing this to me........

'She was a wallflower at 16,
She'll be a wallflower at 34.
Her mother called her beautiful,
Her daddy said "A whore".'

No prizes (cos I'm broke) but go fry your noodle on them!

Freedom to breathe

Funeral over and done with. Don't misjudge me here. It was very sad. I was extremely moved. M read his poem - brilliantly and I fought off the tears. But I am relieved to be done with it all (for now - ash scattering/probate still to do) - but the sense of tension or feeling fraught has eased for a while and I really do feel we can all 3 breath again. The family will lay off suffocating us for a bit (fingers crossed).

We decided to cancel camping in the New Forest next week SIL Z and her lot decided not to go either. I think we are too tired for adventures right now.

But we do all need a break, so.................last night we decided, over a curry, upholding a tradition MIL would have approved of, to go away as a group to CenterParcs soon.

They have never been there - we have soooooo many times - but it's a great holiday, very relaxing, and we are more than happy to go again ;-D

Today I booked a 4 bedroom villa - with it's own sauna etc for early October *yay* and now we all have something to aim for, to feel excited about, which should help us through the gutty bits that remain.

Happy news.

I finally finished some socks, so little knitting has been managed. I spent a lot of today with J - just doing stuff - nice to have the time and energy to give to him - he's been great though.

Now I have a glass of wine with my name on it to quaff and some chill time with my man to enjoy - so no more blogging for now.

I am sitting waiting my finger nails to dry....typing probably not such a hot idea then. I am listening to Pink Floyd's - 'Wish You Were Here' album - now that's gotta to be an age thing. And it's an age thing that is on my mind.......

I was bullied as a child from about the age of 9 until I was around 14/15. When I finally dealt with it, got closure - to use a recently over-used term - I swore I would never be bullied again. Well, here I am at 40, having to allow someone to bully me (temporarily) because they are grieving. I can feel the 9 year old me peering out of my 40 year old eyes. I know all the sensible stuff - gee studied psychology long enough - I know I am better than them, that I will rise above it all and I will maintain my dignity at all costs. I will never look back with guilt/shame. But that doesn't make it any easier to bear.

'Shine on you crazy diamond.'

Count yer blessings.

Tomorrow is MIL's funeral. Two weeks to the day since she died. Time for a start of closure. It feels a long time coming. I think both M and I will be pleased to move on and start getting back to normal. We have been swamped with petty bickering, long-long constant phone calls and all the worst bits that death can bring out in people. Lucky for us (in a way) that we have been there before and therefore have built resilience to some extent.

A good few years ago I read a book called 'Simple Abundance' - it was one of those you dip into as you need/feel like. One thing stuck with me, that everyday you think and make note of 5 good things in your life or that happen that day. I used to do this every day but now I do when I need to make sense of stuff or to get make head really straight. So here are my five;

1) I have good people in my life everyday. I have M, who has so kept me sane for 20+ years and whom I adore. I have J - who makes me proud, who makes me laugh and who amazes me daily. I have my own family Ma, Big Sis and her lot, SIL Z and her family - all people who talk straight to me, make me laugh and who 'do' care.

2) I have my health (so do my family). I am so lucky. Minor aches and pains, the odd migraine or cold but most of the time we are a very healthy lot.

3) Less soppy - but I live near the sea. I love the sea. The smell, the sounds, the incoming weather fronts, the gulls, the cliffs, even the pebbles.

4) I have hobbies and interests that I love. That I can loose myself in, in a selfish, self absorbed way that enables me to free my mind from the dross that can weigh you down. It gives me a sense of artistic expression which stops me from feeling limited in my life.

5) I am at a place that for 99.9% of the time I am content and happy - riches indeed.

OK - so this is way cheesy! I know. But it works because it makes you take the time to stop and examine the positives because normally it is all too easy for them to be buried under the negatives.