A friend is someone who..............

loves you or so a book given to me by my bestfriend when aged 10 says. I find myself thinking about friendship a lot as I watch J develop relationships with his peers. The press talks about modern children (they always do whatever era you grew/grow up in) that they are couch potatoes or violent anti-social thugs and I'm sure some are. But in my recent experience with modern kids and from all the stuff I've read about whilst doing my degree - I would say that most of the children I've met are negotiators.

I love the way J negotiates his play with friends - the amount of actual give and take is quite astounding. Yes there are fall outs - we all have bad days, but the majority of the time, it's worked out fairly.

Children negotiate their way through life, finding ways to fit in, learn and to get what they want and I don't just mean materially. J will talk to us about something he'd like to do and then by discussing it with us we find a way to accommodate this - especially when it's obvious he's spent time thinking and planning the best way to approach us. It can be something as simple as watching a favourite video or going to bed 30 mins later or something more complex that he fancies like a day out somewhere. I admire him so much for this. In my day it was ask - don't get, don't ask - don't want and my parents always had complete veto - no negotiation at all.

I hope J continues to be like this and a friend is someone who loves you - especially when that friend is part of the parent/child relationship.

p.s Katie H - if you ever read this - I still have that book! (It's buried in the attic but I never threw it out.)