Bonfire night

15 years ago today I lost my Dad. I miss him still. He'd been ill for a few years - but I don't think any of us expected him to die so quickly and at that moment. I didn't get to the hospital in time. I never got to say goodbye - he never told me he loved me and when I told him, the previous night, I don't know if he heard.

Every year on Guy Fawkes we send up a big firework for him (he loved fireworks and bonfires) last night (a day early) we sent up a 48 shot firework and I took the time to think of him.

We had a wonderful firework celebration, J and the cousins helped stoke the fire, played with sparklers, cooked marshmallows on the chiminea, ate home-made soup and sausages and generally 0hh-and-ahhed at the wonderful explosions. The adults ate too much, 3 of us drank to much, we made very merry and laughed loads. I think my Dad would have had a blast. I'm sure he was there in spirit.

Rocket's Tail (For Rocket).

That November night, looking up into the sky
You said "Hey wish that was me up there-
it's the biggest rocket I could find
And it's holding the night in it's arms
If only for moment
I can't see the look in it's eyes
but I'm sure it must be laughing."
But it seemed to me the saddest thing I'd ever seen
And I thought you were crazy wishing such a thing -

I saw only a stick on fire
Alone on it's journey
Home to the quickening ground
With no one there to catch it.

I put on my pointed hat
And my black and silver suit
And I check my gunpowder pack
And I strap the stick on my back
And dressed as a rocket on Waterloo Bridge
Nobody seems to see me
Then with the fuse in my hand
And now shooting into the night
And still as a rocket
I land in the river.

Was it me said you were crazy?
I put on my cloudiest suit
Size 5 lightening boots too
'Coz I am rocket
On fire
Look at me go with my tail
On fire
Hey, look at me, look at me................

(Kate Bush - from 'The Sensual World).