A post of two parts.

Part One.

I have always used my blog to express my thoughts and feelings as well as vent, rant or moan. I've been honest and typed exactly what I felt. I thought that was the idea of blog. I like to blog like that. But after this week I now feel unhappy and out of step with blogging that way. I don't mind criticism - but this is my blog and I am of the mind that if people don't like me and what I write/think, then they shouldn't read this blog. So I have all this stuff I want to blog about - stuff I want to get of my chest - and I'm kind loathe to do it because of feeling restricted *sigh*. So if you don't like my honest stuff about my life and how I feel - don't read part 2 of this post.

Part Two.

Yesterday was a lovely day.....in the morning. I pottered, I did lots of spinning. J was happy and creative, it was great. Then the afternoon happened. Now it's awkward because what wound me up to a sense of frustration of gasket blowing proportions is something of which I cannot blog (yet), suffice it to say - it could effect our families future. Something that was mailed two months ago, to meet to deadline four weeks later, was now lost, at the crucial time it was needed. Lucky I kept a copy *phew* unlucky I am a computer Luddite with an antique scanner that has micro chip rot to match my brain rot. So I spent between 2 to 4 hours trying to scan 8 pages to email to someone. I even used Ma's new, whizzy computer with a printer which has a built in scanner. I scanned these pages something like 11 times - and no matter what I did I couldn't get a legible document, it kept showing up with text all over the place and written in what looked like a foreign language. I scanned it in to every programme her computer had and still nothing worked.

I took a little break for dinner. By this time I felt like my eyes were popping and the veins in my forehead looked like strained steel cables. Then dinner - mmm lamb curry - a medium heat dupiza - yum! Nope - cheating by using a Tesco sauce - cos I wasted so much time fucking about with a scanner - it was gross - so hot even M - was taken a back - a man who eats mega hot curries like I eat yogurt, and so harsh on the spices - blech. So I ate 7 little cubes of lamb, a couple of mouthfuls of rice and a poppadom and gave up.

Back to the scanning *bigger sigh* I eventually found 2 formats and emailed off both - still don't know if they worked and probably won't till next week.

The thing that really got me was, I chased this 'thing' up about 10 days ago. Now if I hadn't done that would they have ever realised it was missing - and we might have never known *double big sigh*.

By the end of the evening I was so wound up I couldn't even bring myself to knit!

So today, I still feel the aftermath of the frustration and wound up like a coiled spring. M is out with buddies for the morning and I just want to hide. But I shall go and bake up a storm and hopefully by the end of that I'll feel back to normal.

We're off out for the day tomorrow (weather permitting) so I want to feel in a happier place as we're going somewhere I love to visit with good friends and kiddie mates of J's. I'm sure tomorrow will be a good day.

I hate computers! I find it all frustrating because although I worked on them for years - it was so different then. And at school back in the late 70's early 80's - well computer studies were a joke - I learnt nothing relevant to today. Computers effect my brain like numbers - I shut down and just don't get it *treble sigh*.

Finally -thanks for the tag Allie (http://www.greenhousebythesea.blogspot.com/ ) - wonderful blog this - you should read it - very interesting. I will do the 'meme' but next week when I've re-established my normal jolly self. Anyone who know me IRL and is reading this is now pissing themselves with laughter - jolly probably was not the best choice of description for me!