I used to work with someone who thought it was important to stare you straight in the eyes when he spoke to you. I am no shrinking violet but I found this most uncomfortable and awkward because, firstly, I couldn't stand the bloke and secondly I was aware of my eyes not being able to hold his and this made me feel like he would think I had something to hide or was dishonest or something. I hated getting cornered by him but as he was the bosses son and my direct superior it happened most days. To this day I still dislike someone staring directly into my eyes. I don't find it an act of honesty - I think it is fuckin rude and can feel intimidating.
But as with everything there is one exception to the rule;- kitties. Everything is better with kitties.
I love the trust of a kitty when it looks directly at you and then does one slow, long blink. From what I've read this is cat body language for reassurance. All my cats of have done it and one of the best things is if you blink at them first and then they blink back at you. It feels kind of good.
Because I've always done this with my kitties I must have also done it with puppies (I was never aware that I did) until the day I realised that I had slow blinked at Lottie and she responded in kind! It probably doesn't mean the same to her, but it is a taught behaviour and she quite often blinks back at us and at Conkers too. Fergus hasn't picked up on it....yet....and I don't know if he will. But I think cos Lottie was such a hyper mad puppy I must have done it as a calming reassurance thing with her - Fergus being a good calm pup didn't need it.
The only creatures allowed to look me straight in the eyes for a sustained period are kitties and Lottie - everyone else.....look away or I'll change my name to Medusa.
1 comment:
Yup -- that is an intimidation technique
My kitties have never liked being stared at -- I'll have to try the blinking part!
XXO - laBou
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