Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tis the season to be.......

Grumpy with a side order of sarcasm. In other words, in my book, tis the season to be the same as usual. A complete stranger wished me Happy Christmas the other day and then added 'Cheer up love it might never happen' I refrained from replying 'It already has with a complete tosspot like you speaking to me just because it is Christmas this month.'  I find it very difficult to do the fake smiley happy thing at the best of times, but at this time of year it becomes nigh on impossible. I try, I really do. I creak my mouth upwards and kind of grit my teeth into a cross between a rictus of a smile and a grimace, but then I feel the muscles at the side of my mouth tremble and quiver, and the default setting of bulldog chewing on a wasp falls back in to its usual position.

I just don't get why people have this overwhelming need to be nice and smiley and friendly and jolly now. What difference does one day make? (The above statement does not apply to those moments of trolley wars and check out queues on Christmas Eve.) If you have the ability, and not all of us do, to be that nice and pleasant why not attempt it all year round? I am sure it would make the world a better place, unless you stumble across people like me, it would just make me want to punch you.

As Christmas and New Year approach, I find it harder and harder not to say 'Fuck off' to every wish of a Happy Christmas/Happy New Year that I get when I am out and about. And don't even get me started on the fake kissy-kissy hugness of New Years Eve (I need to carry a bucket with me on that day.) I don't mind a hug and a 'mwah' from people I know and quite like but from turds on legs, slightly pissed full of fake bonhomie, it is just a massive mistake if they to try and get close to me. M reckons I pull a face like a frozen fart and that scares them off a twenty paces, I should hope so, I've been perfecting it for about 40+ years.

I just hate the assumption that jolly becomes the norm at this time of year. I'd much rather people were just themselves all year round or that they could be that 'nice' at other times not just because it is seen as the right thing to do. Buck the trend, go against the flow, join with me and yell that resounding 'Fuck off!' You will feel better for it.

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