Wednesday Madhouse - First Memory.

I've been thinking about this title all week - wracking my brains for what would be a first memory, there are so many options to choose from. First memory of sex, first memory of fear, first memory of eating a specific type of food - the list is endless. So many first memories.

I decided to try and go for the the obvious - first ever memory.

I don't have one.

I asked M - "Do you have a specific first memory?" He doesn't. What he has is a timeline of early memories. He has this because they moved 3 times during this early period of his life so he can relate a memory to what place he lived in. I don't have this. The house I was born in, I then lived in for the first 16 years of my life.

What I have is a collage of early memories.

I remember Tiffany,our dog,who was 6 months older than me. I remember loving her, curling up in her bed with her, eating her dog biscuits and I remember thinking her ear looked like a slice of roast beef and biting it. She being a sweet dog, yelped and then turned round and licked me to make sure I was all right.

I remember it snowed at Christmas - I must have been 3 coming up for 4. I remember walking on the golf course and my older sister running to jump on virgin snow....it was a filled in bunker -she disappeared with a yell, the dog leaped in after her and held her down and washed her. I remember my parents laughing like mad and the fact she did not find it at all funny. She moaned all the way home.

I remember that same year getting a Space Hopper...my 'hopping fing' as it became known. I'm pretty sure that was my Poppa's last Christmas and he and Nana bought it for me. It's the only gift I recall that relates to him.

I remember Mum giving me rides across the kitchen on washing day. I used to like to be wheeled about sitting on our twin tub machine and I remember the lecture regarding the dangers of the spin dryer, to this day the thought of it makes my blood run cold.

I remember the 3 day week and Mum making loads of candles out of scrap bits of wax and Pond's Cold Cream Jars.

I remember sitting on my Dad's lap and steering his race car back down the hill at the Valance Hill climb event. Lots of my early memories are linked to my Dad's love for motor sports. Car shows at Olympia ( I remember the lovely fish and chips we had there for lunch). I remember Mum covering my ears with her hands in the paddock at Silverstone when Dad was warming up the engine of his car before going out to compete. I remember the long journeys, endless packed lunches and the car sickness too. I remember making friends with other kids in the same boat -bored by motor sport and talk of cars. I remember at Gurston they had donkeys and horses and Mum, Sis and I used to go and fuss them. I remember the noise and smell of Cooper Japs being revved in the pits/paddock.

I remember getting my Twinkle comic every week and Drooper (my Gt Grandmother) letting me sit on her knee and she'd read me the stories from it (she died when I was 5).

I remember Sis and I getting gastric flu and Uncle Derek (the family Dr) making a house call to come and see us.

I remember Cuthbert my white bear with red paws,who looked over my shoulder every night, and kept the bad dreams away.

I remember my Dad seemed huge and my Mum little and very pretty.

I remember, even at that early age, fighting with my Sister. I also remember calling her Fleagle from the Banana Splits.

I remember feeling loved, safe and happy.

I cannot remember anything bad.