I awoke this morning and realised all is not well. I feel like and overstretched elastic bank that is about to snap - bigtime. I have no idea why - there is nothing wrong. My grrrrr factor is on overload and I don't understand it at all.
I hurt my back after camping and have been in agony all week - I feel like I have all the energy of a deflated balloon.
I could place my face in my hands and weep.
And I don't know why.
It's been years since I suffered with this kind of depression. The last time was when my Dad died. Is not good.
I intend to spend this weekend quietly - chillin (huh chance would be a fine thing). J winds M up all weekend. It's like "Oh Dads home - I'll be a mouthy little arsehole for 2 days." M gets angry and they bicker. I feel for M - he works all week, he's stressed sometimes and J knows what buttons to press to get a reaction. I'm caught in the middle. I understand that J wants attention and M does give it - they just set sparks off each other. I sit there sometimes planning what to pack - as I swear one weekend I'll up sticks and spend two days in a B&B just for some peace. This may sound selfish but I need some me time.
They've gone trampolining now - so I have an hour alone (Ma is out too). So I'm off the utilise this quiet - very precious hour - when I don't have to do anything for anyone - and nobody needs me for anything. Very rare indeed.
Finally, J is 9 next week. Where has the time gone? Birthday post will follow in due course.