Thursday, August 02, 2007

I am sitting waiting my finger nails to dry....typing probably not such a hot idea then. I am listening to Pink Floyd's - 'Wish You Were Here' album - now that's gotta to be an age thing. And it's an age thing that is on my mind.......

I was bullied as a child from about the age of 9 until I was around 14/15. When I finally dealt with it, got closure - to use a recently over-used term - I swore I would never be bullied again. Well, here I am at 40, having to allow someone to bully me (temporarily) because they are grieving. I can feel the 9 year old me peering out of my 40 year old eyes. I know all the sensible stuff - gee studied psychology long enough - I know I am better than them, that I will rise above it all and I will maintain my dignity at all costs. I will never look back with guilt/shame. But that doesn't make it any easier to bear.

'Shine on you crazy diamond.'

3 comments:

Batty said...

It's hard. I was bullied all the way through the tender age of 18, so I know what you're talking about. Sometimes, it's difficult not to lash out, and it's even more difficult to figure out just how much of a lashing out the other person deserves, and how much of it is residual anger from the past.

That said, it doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. You can stand up for yourself in an assertive yet polite and caring way. You don't deserve to be bullied. Chances are, if the other person is bullying you because of grief, they'd be feeling bad about it if they had it together. Be firm but don't hide that you care.

Jo said...

Oh Peri, I can't add anything that Batty hasn't already said, count to 10, count your blessings and then count again, and at least be happy that you've made me stop and think about counting my blessings everyday for a week, although they will probably get a bit lame!

Raeknits!_and_spins said...

"We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears."

Me too, sweetie, I see one girl at the grocery store who bullied me every day for about 3 years in middle school, and now, 25ish years later, I still get that sick feeling in my stomach.

((((((((((((((Peri))))))))))))))