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"Look at it. The indignity! I was quietly minding my own beeswax, kipping in the beanbag when that thing. The Bogeyman of an excuse of a dog, just climbed on above my head. I mean, what is the world coming to? If I hadn't been in such a chilled space I would have given the long arsed bugger a little nip."
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"And while I'm on the subject of indignities.....that bearded pink monkey thing plucked my wondrous fluffy eyebrows. I was sleeping...life is tiring you know, on his lap and when I awoke...due to some discomfort...they were gone! The pink monkey folk say I look "cute" and "puppyish" but it doesn't require the removal of a girlies eyzebrows for that to be the case. I look totally fantabulous every minute of the day. I am not an amused Queen Lottie this week and that is putting it lightly!"
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