When you're smiling

The whole world smiles with you.

Lottie was having happy dreams yesterday evening, so she smiled for about an hour in her sleep. Oh to sleep so deeply and be so blissfully unaware of everything going on around you. I think 2 massive pigbat attacks in the garden, being chased round the house for 'wee-wee's' by me and a long walk tired her out.

This made me smile. A winter gift from a friend, she made herself, isn't he delightful?

Today

I have cleared a mountain of chores and laundry - that's the fun stuff done!

Entered our data to the RSPB for the Big Garden Birdwatch - which we took part in over the weekend. I am a secret birdwatcher (have been for a long time) right now I can hear a Magpie chattering away outside the window - I can and often do spend too much time watching the birdies......perhaps I caught it from Conkers?

Made tomato and herb bread- from scratch. Have recently re-discovered the joys of my breadmaker. Yesterday I made a sweet sandwich loaf - which we had toasted with jam and marmalade for breakfast today and the rest is destined to become M's favourite pudding....bread and butter.

I have chased a litter terrier all round the place to catch it so it will go 'out' for wee-wees - she's such a stubborn moo. Groomed both dogs and Conkers.

Caught up on my blog reading.

Done 30 mins of yoga.

Made lunch.

Finished this months household accounts.

Researched something that I'd been meaning to look at for weeks online.

Now I have an hour or so (fingers crossed) till I plan to walk the dogs so it's time for some knitting. What's the betting I manage 2 rows before something - child/animal/hubby related requires my attention?

*** 2 rows before M got in, 2 more after making coffee before the dogs needed to go out and 3 rows before J needed me - 7 rows!

Movement and loss - a thought or two.

So as family we can now start to move on. M's Mum's estate is finally settled and we can stop having to think about solicitors and wondering how soon we should phone them to, yet again, chase them up, stop wondering when the next form will arrive that they forgot to tell us we needed to complete, stop working out how all four siblings will get to sign it because the cracks in relationships are now so deep they are beyond repair? We can have movement. But so far the movement for me is a deeper sense of loss - not so much for me personally - but for M and J. We now have 1 parent between us and J has one grandparent - I think coming to terms with losing both parents must be so strange. Even now M says that he makes mental notes to tell his Mum this and that, and is bought up short that the person who, probably, know him best for longest is gone.

It makes me think about my relationship with J and my relationship with my Mum - which is complicated at times by the fact we live in the same house and quite often manage to piss each other off. But M's loss has made me appreciate the fact she's still around, and fit and strong, a lot more. I actually admire the fact that at weeks away from 70 she has so much vigour, strength and independence. We may not always see eye to eye - but I'm glad she is still a part of our lives.

I watched 'A Short Stay in Switzerland' last night - it made me cry, it made me think and it made me question my ideas and thoughts about illness and death (lovely jolly post this - isn't it?). I was deeply moved by the issues and by Julie Waters portrayal of this women and her decision. I am still thinking about it now. The three parents that we've lost between us all died differently - all unpleasantly in their own ways - all really without a conscious chance to tie up loose ends and say goodbye. I know people see funerals as 'goodbye' but I don't, funerals are a balm to the living and I can't abide them (just personal opinion). What moved me and gave me such food for thought was the chance to express parental/familial love - I believe that 'our' grief would have been easier to bear had that opportunity fallen to us at least once. As an atheist I don't believe in any sort of after life so the comfort of loved ones waiting across the great divide isn't mine. I know there is no point in wishing for the impossible and that lots of people experience loss without leave taking, but I still feel surprise that when watching last night I felt a sense of envy within my sadness of her story.

Flutter Sleeve Cardigan

This pattern is by Pam Allen and featured in Spring 08 Interweave Knits. I started in May last year and finally finished it today. It took 6 balls of Sublime Super Fine Merino and I knit the middle size.

Detailing on arm cuff (which does need blocking) the rest was blocked before sewing but this bit has to be done after and at 11.00pm last night I couldn't be asked and today I just wanted to get the seaming done.

Love the ceramic heart buttons though.

Did I enjoy making it? To be honest - No. Why? The shaping is great - love the S/row on the waist, the rest is a very boring knit and the moss st borders are endless, mind numbingly so! The button hole method also (IMHO) leaves much to be desired - I found it too messy with too many ends - I doubt I would make it again but if I did I would use a different button hole technique.

Do I like it now it's made? Not really. It may grow on me, it fits fine, but I don't like the way it flares at the bottom and it isn't very flattering over the 'ole ample booty'. I'll leave it to fester for while and look at it again in the spring - if I still feel the same it will be passed on or frogged!

Still it's one to be knocked of the 'to finish' pile - which is what I am determined to whittle down this year before starting anything new (other than socks - they don't count). I have 5.5 balls left of the yarn as well - so they may come is handy - hats/scarfs etc.

I love yarn!

Lorna's Laces Shepherd and Sock in 'Amy's Vintage Office' and as a tribute to the wonderful Amy herself, pictured on a Ukelele, a SpongeBob one at that. The colours remind me of our bedroom and are really subtle IRL. (The uke belongs to M - he's learning to play).

Manos del Uruguay, Silk Wool - I bought 600g of this wonderful limpid pool colour, it is destined to be a...........not telling ;) but I bought it with a preplanned purpose in mind.

The above two are Malabrigo Sock Yarn - oh yes baby! It is so very, very soft and squoochy. The colours are Abril and Persia but as I have already stashed it away I can't remember which is which - whoops.

M bought this Manos Wool Clasica destined to be a hat. Lovely subtle colour changes within it's rich blue palette.

I also bought some needles and lockable stitch markers, as most of mine are well over 10yrs old and are brittle so they snap or have been lost.

This little shopping expedition led to a complete overhaul of my stash storage, everything got re-baged, labelled and listed so I now actually know how much yarn I have - not as much as you may think - but enough for a while. It was satisfying to see it all organised and has inspired me, I have lots of things in mind for 2009's knitting etc.

A whole chunk of peace & bliss.

We had a lovely, relaxing and chilling weekend.

Log fires, snuggling, walking, saunas, feeding and watching the local wildlife.

We read, we knit and we talked.

A visit to Salisbury Cathedral on the way home rounded it off nicely. Although neither of us are religious we both adore old churches and this one is magnificent. I was blown away by the Magna Carta.

It is nice to be home....missed J and the critters. Have a mountain of laundry to catch up on - that kid sure do get through clothes!!

Oh and I almost forget on the way out on Friday I dropped a bundle of cash (early birthday pressie) in the Get Knitted shop, pictures next time ;-)

Humbug

Humbug
Originally uploaded by loobles2002

Sadly Humbug, the Brazilian Black and White Tarantula died last night. He was the first tarantula we had from a spiderling and was smaller than a 20p when we first got him.

Like all male tarantulas his life was fairly brief (we had him about 4 years) and most likely frustrating, tramping about on the look out for a lady friend.

J was sad as he named him, a good name for a pet with black and white stripey legs.

We are now down to 3 eight legged friends now - Doris, Tiny and Marmite. I don't plan to buy any others at the moment unless something comes up that I can't resist.

Back to black.

Not just my wardrobe this time but my hair as well! It's been ages since I had black hair and the wonderful Simon had this amazing blue/black and the rest, as they say is history. I've also changed the cut (again) I loved my bob but it is sooooo normal, nothing wrong with that, but I am easily bored. So now I look a bit like a 'Human League' reject - a tad retro - but what the heck.

Life is chugging along, fairly quiet and normal. Am spending a lot of time reading (I adore the Nintendo DS, 1oo Classic books) I can't stop reading the Sherlock Holmes volumes, in fact I've got so into them I just ordered a couple more on Amazon, they'll be perfect to take away with us this weekend.

Finished my Jacques hat over the weekend and have enough yarn left to make mittens, so cast on for them last night.

My Nana is getting better, still in hospital but more like her normal venomous self - it runs in the family, this poisonous tongue - I think my sister and I have escaped the curse but it may surface as we age.

I have a quiet day planned today - J is busy, M's at work and I have the once a month 'blahs' so I don't intend to stir far - a quick Lottie walk and that's it - I feel another delve into 'The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes' coming on.

Jacques and Tilly

I cast on for this yesterday. The Jacques Cousteau Hat by kasilla tekemisen terapiaa - Ravelry link http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/jacques-cousteau-hat . It's an easy knit perfect for T.V or movie knitting or just something light.

The hat is to go with my Tilly scarf (see previous posts for where the pattern comes from etc) which I finally got around to finishing. Knit on 3.75mm needles using Manos silk/wool. I made it slightly shorter than the pattern calls for - because personally, I prefer a shorter scarf inside my jacket.

This is another nice knit, great pattern but as usual cables kill my hands and wrists. I don't know why but any cable is always a slow knit for me.

Lottie says

"Put me down women, I want to see what's going on over there!"

"This canoodling is ruining my image."

"Please make that white stuff come back. It's such fun to play in. Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssse!"

A peaceful space.

First off, the hall is all finished and that ends the 2008 decorating marathon. I love these light shades so pretty!

My peaceful corner - all kidlets and musical gadgets are banned from this area.

My armchair was delivered today. I finally have somewhere comfortable to sit knit, read and spin without the beeping of gizmo's and the prattle of TV. I can listen to audio books and pod casts in peace - ahhh the bliss of it. I may be MIA for quite a little while as I intend to hide away here and relax!

Hmmmmmm

Snow?


Yuck!

Lottie and J love it though - wet dog and wet boy, muddy foot/paw prints everywhere.

Reunited and it feels so good!

Gavin has been found safe and well! I won the reward of bumbum and biscuit flavoured kisses - oh such joy is unbounded.

He was hiding in the grooming box in the hall cupboard of all places. I remembered this after I'd got M to get all the Xmas decorations back out of the attic *whoops* as I was worried Gavin had got scooped up with all the tinsel, but no, twas all my fault. I put him in the box when I groomed Lottie yesterday so she'd stop chewing on him and sit still *double whoops*. Still she's happy now and Gavin is soggy and well chewed for his pains.

OK no more posts today.....promise :-D

Lupin

005
Originally uploaded by loobles2002

Yes! Finally finished my gloves. Why did they take me 2 months? Cos I hate knitting fingers on pesky, pokey little glove needles.

Opal Lupin yarn from the Harry Potter series. Knitted on 2.5mm dpns. Pattern free from Sue Morgan - Adult Gloves.

Would I make a 2nd pair? Nope.

The Art of Relaxation.

006
Originally uploaded by loobles2002

Lesson 1.

Just let it flop and hang.

Lost, missing - 1 rubber burping pig!

If found please return to Lottie! She even checked out my finished 'Tonks' socks to make sure that the pig was not hiding under them. She is distraught. Her pig was her bestest ever present and he is now MIA. We've checked everywhere and he is not to be found. She is offering a reward of bumbum and biscuit flavoured kisses to anyone who can help this missing porker find his way home..........he answers to the name of 'Gavin'.
Still finding my way round my new wheel. It feels so different to the Traveller, more positive and responsive in the treadling. The above is test spinning trying different tensions and just generally getting a feel for it.
Still spinning on the Traveller too. This is Jo's lovely fibre I got at the knitting Safari - spinning up a dream, such wonderful colours. It feels odd moving from one wheel to the other.

I didn't get anywhere as much knitting done over the holidays as I planned - I seemed to spend a lot of time sleeping. I think it is related to the release of almost 18 months of tension whilst dealing with M's Mum's estate - which was finally settled just before Xmas. We actually got written confirmation of this yesterday - I almost cried, the relief was immense - what must it feel like for M and his siblings if it made me feel that way. I am so happy to be starting 2009 without that hanging over our heads, we can finally have some closure on this loss.

M's birthday tomorrow - he's got the day off work - it's nice to have an extra day together.

No resolutions - never keep em. Am looking forward to our little weekend away in a couple of weeks, just M and I. J is going to have a spoiling from Grandma - she always cooks all his favourite foods and lets him stay up late, so he'll have a whale of a time.

Happy New Year to anyone who reads this drivel and celebrates the New Year!

Am I ?

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Ingrid!

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
• * Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
• * Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
• * Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
• * Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being an Ingrid

• * my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
• * my ability to establish warm connections with people
• * admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
• * my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
• * being unique and being seen as unique by others
• * having aesthetic sensibilities
• * being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid

• * experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
• * feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
• * feeling guilty when I disappoint people
• * feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
• * expecting too much from myself and life
• * fearing being abandoned
• * obsessing over resentments
• * longing for what I don't have

Ingrids as Children Often

• * have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
• * are very sensitive
• * feel that they don't fit in
• * believe they are missing something that other people have
• * attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
• * become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
• * feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Ingrids as Parents

• * help their children become who they really are
• * support their children's creativity and originality
• * are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
• * are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
• * are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at No comments:

One big sigh....

tis all over bar the shouting!

Seriously we had a good festive time. J got what he'd been hankering after - Lego, money, Scalextric and many other good things. M and I don't normally bother with presents but this year M filled my day with gifts and surprises - I think he was trying to banish the Ebenezer that had manifested throughout December. I got M and joint Xmas and b/day gift - music based - so he's a happy bunny.

Now if I can just persuade them that the tree needs to come down asap, I can get back to being a non-Ebenezer grouch!

Got lots of things to prepare for M's birthday on New Years Eve - so am looking forward to that now.

Hope everyone (who partakes) had a lovely holiday time and Santa came up trumps for you all!

Solitude

There is the loneliness of peopled places:
Streets roaring with their human flood; the crowd
That fills bright rooms with billowing sounds and faces,
Like foreign music, overshrill and loud.
There is the loneliness of one who stands
Fronting the waste under the cold sea light,
A wisp of flesh against the endless sands,
Like a lost gull in solitary flight.
Single is all up-rising and down lying;
Struggle or fear or silence none may share;
Each is alone in bearing and in dying;
Conquest is uncompanioned as despair.
Yet I have known no loneliness like this,
Locked in your arms and bent beneath your kiss.

Babette Deutsch (b. 1895)

Tuesdays view from the bedroom window

The cloud has separated and is laying on sea - sea mist.

It was like looking across a lake to a distant landscape - kind of eerily beautiful. It is breaking up now and patchily rolling closer.