Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Boy and girls come out to play.

I am officially turning into a hermit....not the crabby kind either. It's strange but at this time of the year I normally find my agoraphobia recedes, but this year, the outdoor sunny type weather is making it worse. I realised today that I haven't left the house - except for the garden etc - in 9 days (oops). Today I have to leave the house and it's making me a little, no a lot anxious. Mind you, I think that trips to the dentist have that effect on a lot of peeps. The dentist is a nice guy and I have good teeth - I only need to go once a year because of that. No today my worry is J. He has good teeth too and doesn't have any fear but I hate taking him to the dentist because as a kid I was terrified of the dentist, the fear still lingers and I am so afraid he'll pick up on it and then he'll get 'the fear'. Silly of me I know....but that's the thing about fear/phobias etc. So I will be the discombobulated (love that word) one today until our appointment this afternoon. Hopefully once that is out of the way then I'll be able to get back on a even keel and sort my head out and get out of the house a bit more. This weekend there is a couple of things on locally that I'd quite like to check out but we'll see. Normally the closer they get, the less like a good idea they seem. The strange thing is, loads of people know I have this including friends etc and not one fucker ever offers any kind of support. Hmmmm I can tell you next time a friend asks for help they will get well and truly told to go fuck themselves!

Spider News.

It's official - we now have two males (Humbug and Diego), one female (Doris - still another moult would be good to confirm it) and two don't knows. Colemans moulted over the weekend, He's still all hunched up, clearly much bigger, but still a juvenile. Tiny is still juvenile too. Animal husbandry is much easier now that J's stick insects and the Triops have gone. All the furry dudes and dudettes are good!


Oooooo Rowan 4ply cotton - my poor sore hands. The area between thumb and forefinger is so sore. That yarn is so hard on the hands. Still Isabella progresses - albeit slowly due to the above.

Ribbed cardi - 2nd front almost done.

Sahara - am at the waist shaping.

Shawl - temp abandonment.

Socks - good progress but neglected for other stuff. I have 1 complete plain sock and 1/4 of its mate. 2/3 of Lorna's Laces Monkey complete. Ankle geisha socks - 1 complete and it's mate 2/3 done. J's bed socks 1 complete and it's mate - not yet started.

M's latest hat - in limbo.

Spinning - have almost finished the 1st plait of Corriedale Wizz - so almost 200g spun.

Reading - almost finished 'Roots' - about time I got around to reading this. Tis an excellent read.

That's it - up to date.


Fee said...

Hugs to ya! I totally get the dentist thing, i had an appointment this morning (blessedly i need to fillings) and just the mere prospect really makes me feel very nauseaus.
Big hugs too for the outside venturing. Am mentally holding your hand :)

Anonymous said...

Well, they sure picked the perfect Spinning SP for you... I'm a dentist.

Well, let's work on that fear eh!


Allie said...

I've got dentist this week, too. I was fearful for a long time - all that 'sensitive' 1970s style treatment - big fillings with no pain relief. Got easier when I realised I was now an adult and could get up and leave at any time.

Hope it went ok for you and the boy.

Anonymous said...

Seems you have many phobias. Do your bairns not have to go to school? or even out to socialise? They will bear the burden of your fears in time to come.

peri said...

I did post a really angry comment in reply to the 2nd anon commenter. But I deleted because I decided such a negative nasty comment didn't deserve my energy!

peri said...

Oh and while I think on it. Only a coward makes negative comments anonymously.


Ah yes, anonymous negative commenters are the scourge of the blog world. Breathe deeply love and try not to let them get under your skin. I was going to comment earlier this week before the anon comments went up and then forgot. One thing I wanted to say to you is that I relate to your frustration at friends not offering to help as even after many years of being ill I still have to explain my situation to people repeatedly. This is a big problem at work at the moment. I think people find it very hard to understand 'invisible' illnesses / conditions and consequently forget to offer to help or don't realise HOW they could help in a way that they perhaps wouldn't if your arm was in a sling or you'd just broken your leg. Do you know what I mean? I think also there can be a big difference between old or closer friends and more general casual friends or acquaintances because it is much easier to let the former know that you need help or maybe they are just better at picking up on the signals. People who know you less well might not realise there's a problem (even though you might have told them in the past) i.e. they might not recognise the signals that things are not fine (probably you're doing a very good job of looking better than you are....). Sending hugs to ya. Hx